?

Log in

I'm not talking to myself [entries|friends|calendar]
Valdyr

[ website | Radio-Active-Music.com Promotions ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

The Emotional Purging [2011]; or, How Valdyr Became T'Pau [09 Mar 2011|10:56pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

April 2007 was a really good point in my life. My career was hopping, I was comfortable being single for the first time in my adult life, I was surrounded by good friends, and was living with my amazing roommate Corrie in our first condo in the DC metro. It was a time when I was able to sit down and not only examine my place in my own existence, but also make some commentary about things I saw around me in both my personal and professional lives. So, I wrote this.

Four years later, it's time to follow suit and assess where I am now - especially since I'm about to embark on the greatest adventure of my life.

How Valdyr Became T'PauCollapse )

Breaking KolinahrCollapse )

Rite of AscensionCollapse )

At first glance, this entry may not seem as up-beat or as peaceful as my last one did in 2007, but the one thing I really do want to communicate is my hope for the future. I'm about to marry the greatest man I've ever known, and embark on many new journeys in my career. There have been many times in my past where I thought I was living in the best years of my life - but now I know they're just about to begin. And I want to make sure I'm prepared to enjoy them as much as possible!

3 comments|post comment

[setlist - 3/7/11 - September's] [09 Mar 2011|10:27am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Impromptu DJ set @ the hotel bar, FTW.Collapse )

post comment

as|of & Synthetic Minister sign to Radio-Active-Music; new albums out 3/15! [02 Mar 2011|11:08am]
Radio-Active-Music.com is pleased to announce that Minneapolis-based as|of and Vancouver-based Synthetic Minister have joined the label roster, and will both be releasing their new albums on March 15th! Pre-orders for both are now online - get your copies while they last!



Artist: as|of
Title: as|of
Available March 15th, 2011
Price: $10.00
RAM 027

Radio-Active-Music.com is pleased to release the debut album from as|of. As|of was created when three members of a Minneapolis-based synth-punk band decided to form a side project to allow them to play more live gigs. The new band would be harder and draw more heavily on the trio's love of industrial and electronic music. A few months later, as|of was born. The name is meant to embody the idea that the forces and conditions that affect a being 'as of' one moment in time can change drastically 'as of' the next.

As usual, this release is fully previewable on Last.fm. Pre-orders are being taken directly from the Radio-Active-Music.com website, and the release will be available from all of our online retailers shortly.



++++++++++++++++++++++++

Artist: Synthetic Minister
Title: Cult Following
Available March 15th, 2011
Price: $10.00
RAM 028

Radio-Active-Music.com is also pleased to welcome industrial rock act Synthetic Minister from Vancouver, BC. After successfully releasing their own EP in 2006, the label is pleased to present the band's first full-length. If you were to describe the sound of Synthetic Minister, the best comparison would be NIN Pre-Fragile meets Skold. Blending together Industrial, Electronic Rock, and Glitch, the band's unique, dark and catchy songs have become favorites of the Vancouver club - and the electro-alternative - scene.

As usual, this release is fully previewable on Last.fm. Pre-orders are being taken directly from the Radio-Active-Music.com website, and the release will be available from all of our online retailers shortly.



++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want more? Radio-Active-Music.com is home to several dozen other bands, including 23RAINYDAYS, The Dark Clan, Hopeful Machines (side-project of Ego Likeness), Reaver, Third Realm, XUBERX, and many more! Check out our newly redesigned website for all of the great bands we offer: www.radio-active-music.com

Our releases are also available through retailers such as Amazon, CDBaby, COP International, FiXT, iTunes, Vampire Freaks, and many other stores!
post comment

New Release: Oh So - "All I Ever Wanted" [08 Feb 2011|07:12pm]


Artist: Oh So
Title: All I Ever Wanted
Available February 15th, 2011
Price: $12.00
RAM 026

Radio-Active-Music.com is pleased to present the full-length debut album from Oh So, a synth rock duo hailing from Charlottesville, VA. Featuring former members of the East Cost goth rock sensation In Tenebris, Oh So is reviving dark electro rock all over the Mid-Atlantic. All pre-orders will receive an email link to download the new album immediately*, as well as several demos never before released. On February 15th, we will also release a short EP featuring other exclusive tracks and remixes from the band. Be sure to hurry and order your copy now - this offer only applies to orders placed until the 15th at midnight EST!

As usual, this release is fully previewable on Last.fm. Pre-orders are being taken directly from the Radio-Active-Music.com website, and the release will be available from all of our online retailers shortly.

* Please allow up to 24 hours to receive your email confirmation with the download instructions. If you need your email confirmation sent to an address other than your PayPal address, please email radioactivemusic[at]gmail[dot]com and mention the email address used to order the album, and we will forward your download to your new email



++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want more? Radio-Active-Music.com is home to several dozen other bands, including 23RAINYDAYS, The Dark Clan, Hopeful Machines (side-project of Ego Likeness), Reaver, Third Realm, XUBERX, and many more! Check out our newly redesigned website for all of the great bands we offer: www.radio-active-music.com

Our releases are also available through retailers such as Amazon, CDBaby, COP International, FiXT, iTunes, Vampire Freaks, and many other stores!
post comment

My Enemy Complete - new EP available 01.11.11 [02 Jan 2011|08:23pm]
[ mood | chipper ]



Artist: My Enemy Complete
Title: My Enemy Complete EP
Available January 11th, 2011
Price: $8.00
RAM 025

My Enemy Complete is an alternative industrial rock act based in Washington DC, comprised of former members of bands such as 51 Peg and Chrysalis. Their dark and taunting melodies are easily comparable to hit acts such as A Perfect Circle and Filter. Their self-titled EP is a long-awaited follow-up to the band's debut single released last year.

As usual, this release is fully previewable on Last.fm. Pre-orders are being taken directly from the Radio-Active-Music.com website, and the release will be available from all of our online retailers shortly.



++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want more? Radio-Active-Music.com is home to several dozen other bands, including 23RAINYDAYS, The Dark Clan, Hopeful Machines (side-project of Ego Likeness), Reaver, Third Realm, XUBERX, and many more! Check out our newly redesigned website for all of the great bands we offer: www.radio-active-music.com

Our releases are also available through retailers such as Amazon, CDBaby, COP International, FiXT, iTunes, Vampire Freaks, and many other stores!
post comment

[playlist vanity] [02 Jan 2011|01:44pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Because I like to remember everything...

My song choices for the impromptu mega tag-team basement NYE DJ set with DJ Gleek, DJ Rift, DJ Vlad, Digital Cowboy, and perhaps a few other people that I don't remember:

Reaver - Underman
Angels on Acid - Misery Loves Company
Everything Goes Cold - Don't Quit Your Day Job
Sensuous Enemy - Kali
Delica-M - Syren

That was one hell of a party...and probably the best New Years I've had in quite awhile!

post comment

[continue] [17 Dec 2010|03:09pm]
[ mood | content ]

Been awhile since I've posted a proper blog entry, so now that I'm sitting here at work for a few more hours before tonight's client arrives, I figured enough had happened over the last few months for a nice, good update.

The biggest news, of course, is that Rick proposed to me on Thursday. That's probably not a huge surprise to most of you since we've been talking about it for awhile, but we made it 'official' during our vacation to San Francisco this past week. (Though the ring is still being made - should have it by New Years'.)

All my life I've kinda waffled on whether or not I wanted to get married, or if I'd ever find someone I felt 100% comfortable with. I'm glad I've found it - Rick really is the best man I've ever known, and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. It's exciting - up until now I've had overall some really amazing years out on my own - college, moving around, running a business, working a lot of cool jobs, and making some great friends. For a time, I thought that the best years might be behind me...but now I know they're just beginning. :-)

My 'real life job' continues to go well. I will have been working here for a year this coming February, and it's been nice to have a stable position for so long. The label is doing well, too, in spite of a general slow-down in all things industrial. I'm still happy to be releasing some truly fabulous artists these days.

So, what's next? Most of it depends on Rick's career - he'll be graduating this May, so he's currently on the hunt for a post-doc. He's had a few leads so far, so with luck, we'll be moving on to the next chapter sometime this summer. The wedding will hopefully be around that time too, but a lot of that planning is on hold until we have a better idea of what's going to happen.

In the meantime, I'm planning on enjoying my last six months or so in the area - going to work hard, put out some more good music, and take advantage of the beach a little bit more. Not now, of course - it's like 30 degrees outside.

5 comments|post comment

New Release: Sensuous Enemy - 'Parity' EP [21 Oct 2010|07:33pm]


Artist: Sensuous Enemy
Title: Parity
Available October 26th, 2010
Price: $10.00
RAM 024

Sensuous Enemy is one of the newest signings to Radio-Active-Music, bringing a decidedly dark and voluptuous female-front darkwave element to the label. This extended EP features both brand new tracks from this up-and-coming Wisconsin act, along with a wide array of remixes of Sensuous Enemy's best-loved songs.

As usual, this release is fully previewable on Last.fm. Orders are being taken directly from the Radio-Active-Music.com website, and the release will be available on all of our online retailers shortly.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want more? Radio-Active-Music.com is home to several dozen other bands, including 23RAINYDAYS, The Dark Clan, Hopeful Machines (side-project of Ego Likeness), Reaver, Third Realm, XUBERX, and many more! Check out our newly redesigned website for all of the great bands we offer: www.radio-active-music.com

Our releases are also available through retailers such as Amazon, CDBaby, COP International, FiXT, iTunes, Vampire Freaks, and many other stores!
post comment

[vote] [10 Sep 2010|01:28pm]
If you missed it on my Facebook and Twitter earlier, please head over to Elle.com and vote for Rick's sister, Tracey Wilder, for the People's Choice Award for Fashion Week: http://www.elle.com/Fashion/RISD-2010-Fashion-Show/Peoples-Choice/Fashion-Next-2010-People-s-Choice-Award
post comment

Delica-m - 'driftbetween' EP - now available! [07 Sep 2010|01:02pm]


Artist: Delica-m
Title: driftbetween
Available September 7th, 2010
RAM 023

The latest EP from Canadian electro act Delica-m is now available for from Radio-Active-Music.com. Delica-m's blend of electronic, synthpop, and gothic tones are perfect for both the dancefloor as well as those long drives to nowhere. Radio-Active-Music.com is pleased to be offering the EP version of the release; an extended edition will be available soon in Europe via Danse Macabre Records!

As usual, this release is fully previewable on Last.fm. Orders are being taken directly from the Radio-Active-Music.com website, and the release is also available from many of our online retailers already.



++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want more? Radio-Active-Music.com is home to several dozen other bands, including 23RAINYDAYS, The Dark Clan, Hopeful Machines (side-project of Ego Likeness), Reaver, Third Realm, XUBERX, and many more! Check out our newly redesigned website for all of the great bands we offer: www.radio-active-music.com

Our releases are also available through retailers such as Amazon, CDBaby, COP International, FiXT, iTunes, Vampire Freaks, and many other stores!

++++++++++++++++++++++++

In addition to our label artists, we are also pleased to carry many great unsigned and independent artists & labels in the genre on our webstore. Recent additions to our webstore include recent releases from Angels on Acid, Ego Likeness, Red This Ever, Sensuous Enemy, Val Cain, Voice of Vision, and White Shadow.
post comment

[three new artists join radio-active-music] [19 Aug 2010|01:52pm]
Press Release - August 2010
In this issue:
+ My Enemy Complete, Oh So, and Sensuous Enemy sign to Radio-Active-Music
+ Upcoming Releases: Delica-m and more!
+ Vampire Freaks Digital Music Store Updated
+ New Titles on the Distribution Network
+ Upcoming Shows & Events

Radio-Active-Music.com Welcomes Three New Artists
It’s been a busy summer behind the scenes, and we are now pleased to welcome three new artists to the roster...


First up is My Enemy Complete, an electronic-infused hard rock band from Washington, DC. The band is comprised of members from 51 Peg and Chrysalis - both early pioneers in the East Coast industrial rock scene. The band’s self-released single has already garnered fantastic reviews across the globe, and we are pleased to be releasing their upcoming EP this fall.


Secondly, we welcome Oh So, a synth rock duo from Charlottesville, VA. Featuring former members of goth rock giants In Tenebris, the band is bringing their talents back again for their own special mix of synth grooves. The band’s full length album will be released through Radio-Active-Music.com sometime in early 2011.


Finally, we’re also pleased to showcase Sensuous Enemy on our roster. With delicious female vocals and bouncing synth beats, this band is tearing up the Madison, WI scene. Sensuous Enemy will be touring extensively in the Mid West and East Coast later on this year. Radio-Active-Music will be releasing the band’s new EP this fall.

Upcoming Releases
Delica-m will be releasing their latest EP, "driftbetween" this September in North America. In case you missed the earlier announcement, Delica-m is now co-signed to Danse Macabre Records in Europe! The European version of the album will be out shortly after ours.

In addition to the new Delica-m, My Enemy Complete, and Sensuous Enemy discs, we also are expecting new releases from 23RAINYDAYS, dharmata 101, and XUBERX in the coming months. More info coming soon!

Vampire Freaks Digital Music Store
We’re really pleased to announce that the VampireFreaks.com Digital Music Store has been updated with the entire Radio-Active-Music.com catalog! You can purchase all of our digital releases from the label directly from this great goth/industrial scene resource!

New Additions to the Distribution Network
We’re pleased to include a handful of new releases to our collection. Recent additions include Sensuous Enemy - "Fragments" and White Shadow - "The Wasteland". Many more titles are on the way, so stay tuned for new discs as they become available. All of these releases can be purchased from our online store, or in person at our vending events!

Upcoming Shows & Events
8/28/10 - My Enemy Complete - The Depot - Baltimore, MD
9/04/10 - Sensuous Enemy (w/ Cynergy 67 and more) - Miramar Theatre - Milwaukee, WI
9/13/10 - My Enemy Complete (w/ The Perfects & The Birthday Massacre) - Rock & Roll Hotel - Washington, DC
9/19/10 - dharmata 101 (w/ Cassandra Syndrome & White Shadow) - The Depot - Baltimore, MD
post comment

[setlist - Fallout - August 11th, 2010] [12 Aug 2010|11:28am]
Full setlist from last night hereCollapse )
post comment

[life changes] [27 Jul 2010|01:34pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I'm taking a break on my day off from doing label paperwork to write a proper blog entry, since it's been so long since I've updated.

Life is good. I've moved into my new condo last month, and am approaching the six-month mark with my new job. The company has sent me to Texas, Pennsylvania and Ohio for various reasons, and work back home in the meantime has been very steady. I'm currently negotiating new responsibilities at work, since business is going so well and my boss is looking to expand the company. I'm really happy here.

Things with me and Rick continue to be amazing. It's "unofficially official" now - we'll be getting married next summer. We'll make the official announcement once I have the ring (his sister is a jewelry designer and is currently making it), but I'm already having fun shopping around for a dress and a venue. I haven't contacted anyone about details about the wedding party or anything like that since we haven't finalized a date yet, but I will soon. It'll be sometime in late June or early July, so that it's after he graduates, and before we go off to wherever he picks up a post-doc.

There are a lot of exciting things continuing to happen with RAM. I got word this week that another really amazing band will be joining our line-up (official announcement coming soon), and am in discussion with a few others. We're adding several more titles to our distribution network, too. One of our artists, Delica-m, just got picked up by the European label Danse Macabre, so we'll be co-releasing their upcoming EP this September.

So, the next year will be a busy one filled with a lot of changes - but I guess that's every year with me. But it's nice to be in a place, finally, where I'm much more hopeful than fearful of the future. I feel like I've finally found my place in this universe.

1 comment|post comment

New Releases: The Dark Clan & Reaver [19 May 2010|01:12pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]



Artist: The Dark Clan
Title: Fade / Dance Magic Dance
Available June 1st, 2010
RAM 021

The Dark Clan is the latest addition to the Radio-Active-Music label, and we’re pleased to release this dual CD release containing the most intricate electronic and dark rock. The release contains 20 tracks, and features guest contributions from a wide variety artists in the genre including Caustic, Ego Likeness, The Gothsicles, I:scintilla, and XUBERX...to name a few. This release is co-distributed by Sonic Mainline and DLVN Media.

We’re delighted to be able to offer clips to preview both discs - 'Fade' and 'Dance Magic Dance' - on Last.fm. Pre-orders are now being taken directly on Radio-Active-Music.com through our online store!




Artist: Reaver
Title: Leviathan
Available June 15th, 2010
RAM 022

Radio-Active-Music is pleased to present the sophomore album from the harsh EBM act, Reaver. 'Leviathan' features ten tracks incorporating gothic metal vibes and occult themes into the powerful, dance floor craving rhythms.

As usual, you can preview clips of of the entire album on Last.fm. Pre-orders are now being taken directly on Radio-Active-Music.com through our online store!

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want more? Radio-Active-Music.com is home to several dozen other bands, including 23RAINYDAYS, Hopeful Machines (side-project of Ego Likeness), Third Realm, XUBERX, and many more! Check out our newly redesigned website for all of the great bands we offer: www.radio-active-music.com

Our releases are also available through retailers such as Amazon, CDBaby, COP International, FiXT, iTunes, and many other stores!

post comment

Radio-Active-Music.com Press Release - April 2010 [13 Apr 2010|08:02am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Press Release - April 2010
In this issue:
+ The Dark Clan signs to Radio-Active-Music
+ Upcoming Releases: The Dark Clan, Reaver, and more.
+ New Website
+ Upcoming Shows & Events

Radio-Active-Music.com Welcomes The Dark Clan

Radio-Active-Music.com is very pleased to announce that The Dark Clan - an exciting project developed by Dan Clark (perhaps best known in his role as guitarist for Stromkern) - will be releasing the upcoming dual-CD release "Fade / Dance Magic Dance" on the label.  Self-described as 'big serious fun', The Dark Clan merges and blends so many musical influences and genres, that 'darkclan' will soon be showing up as a new genre on your iTunes playlist.  You can't describe the indescribable - you'll just need to check it out for yourself.  "Fade / Dance Magic Dance" will be co-distributed by Sonic Mainline and DLVN Media.

Upcoming Releases
In addition to The Dark Clan’s "Fade / Dance Magic Dance", Radio-Active-Music.com will also be releasing the sophomore release from harsh ebm band Reaver, entitled "Leviathan." Both releases will be available in June 2010 as the first wave of half a dozen new releases from the label. The summer will also offer new albums from several more current and new Radio-Active-Music.com artists - more information coming soon!

New Website On The Way
This will be the last press release utilizing the current web interface; as I type this, the new Radio-Active-Music.com website design is well on its way to being completed! The new site will launch in mid-May, and will feature more ways to connect with the label and the artists through your favorite social networks, as well as new and improved ways to hear the latest music being released by the company.

Upcoming Shows & Events

Please visit our myspace profile for our latest list of upcoming events!

post comment

[home] [04 Apr 2010|09:57pm]
My flight back to Virginia yesterday was mostly uneventful. It's nice to be back in my own bed though, and near Rick again. It was a long 3 and a half weeks.

Texas was a good experience, though. For those of you who missed the beginning of my epic adventure, my company sent me down to Arlington (between Ft. Worth and Dallas - where the new Cowboys' Stadium is, in fact) for almost a month to be the interim director of a new property they picked up. Though it was a bit boring and tedious at times, the experience and resume fodder was invaluable - I hope that within a year or so (when I expect and hope my circumstances will be changing), I'll be ready to take on my own property where ever we end up living. So this was a great way to get some experience and prove that I'm ready to handle the job. I got a great look into the sales and management side of A/V, and I think I can flatter myself and say I did a good job.

Things that sucked: getting the company laptop stolen from the office the first week (that was a fun phone call back to the corporate office), my allergies freaking out, and not getting to spend as much time out and about as I would have liked.

Things that rocked: my coworkers (especially the bar staff), wearing a suit at work for the first time (albeit infrequently, depending on the physical work load each day), and the extra pay.

I did get a chance to hang out with Eric and James of Gravity Euphonic (I love those guys) a few times - including a trip to The Church, which is Dallas' big goth/industrial night. I met more people there, and had a great time seeing what their scene had to offer. I'd definitely recommend hitting that place up if you're in the area.

I also spent an afternoon at one of the local parks playing around with my camera, and did a quick round of urbexing along the way. I also ate at a Whataburger for the first time, and was actually impressed that a fast food burger could taste that good.

I am glad to be home though - I didn't like being away from Rick that long, and am looking forward to not being 'in charge' again for awhile. My boss gave me the week off, so I'm gonna spend the next few days getting caught up on label business, finishing my taxes for 1st quarter 2010, and then heading to Blacksburg with Rick on Thursday.

On that note...I'm gonna put on a DVD and head to bed...
post comment

[free wi-fi and blueberry ale] [17 Feb 2010|06:12pm]
Time to update.

I started a new fulltime A/V job in 757 about three weeks ago, and good timing on that, too (a week or so more and I would have been enlisting in the military - seriously.) So I'm paying down my debts and breathing a huge sigh of relief; in a way I've been almost afraid to get too excited about how well the new job is going since I've been in and out of work so much in the past few years...

But since my boss bought me a monthly parking pass this week, I think it's safe to assume they plan on keeping me. :-)

The new job is good - my company services most of the large hotels in the area, and contracts for a lot of one-off private events. My coworkers are awesome, and the work load overall is comparable to what I did at the Hotel Roanoke back when I graduated from college. We do a lot of generic set-ups, but with a sprinkling of fun, creative events - for instance, this weekend we're doing a HUGE set-up for one of the local government agencies. I've spent the last few days building new projector mounts, rigging a lot of screens, and installing some LED lighting fixtures.

There was also about 200' of pipe and drape and 250 power strips, but we won't think about that. ;-)

So now, after a 11 hours of work, I'm chilling at one of my new favorite hangouts and drinking a really tasty blueberry ale and mooching internet. Once rush hour dies down, it's time to head home and play with my kitties.

I'm content again. Let's hope it sticks this time.

RAM will be on cruise control for the next few months while I regroup, but we have some HUGE things planned for this summer. New releases, Nuclearfest 2010, and much more...stay tuned.

Also. Rick is awesome. But you guys knew that already.

EDIT: Also, RIP Dirk. I didn't know you very well myself, but your impact on the scene was epic.
1 comment|post comment

XUBERX - "All Things Belong To Us Now" - available for pre-order [13 Jan 2010|12:46pm]


Artist: XUBERX
Title: All Things Belong To Us Now
Available January 26th, 2009
RAM 020

This EP continues the music saga of DC-based industrial act XUBERX. The CD is an exlusive collection of new tracks, a remixe, a cover and a live recording - a must have for every XUBERX fan! Also, this album is available in hard copy only - no digital sales offered. Buy your CD before they're gone!

As always, we're delighted to be able to offer a full preview of the album on Last.fm. Pre-orders are now being taken directly on Radio-Active-Music.com!


++++++++++++++++++++++++

Want more? Radio-Active-Music.com is home to several dozen other bands, including 23RAINYDAYS, Hopeful Machines (side-project of Ego Likeness), Reaver, Third Realm, and many more! Check out our website for all of the great bands we offer: www.radio-active-music.com

Our releases are also available through retailers such as Amazon, CDBaby, COP International, FiXT, iTunes, and many other stores!

And don't forget:

post comment

New XUBERX EP + huge sale from Radio-Active-Music! [05 Jan 2010|07:26pm]


Pre-order the new XUBERX "All Things Belong To Us Now", check out our reduced prices on our online store, or take advantage of our SEVEN CDs for $25.00 Post Holiday Sale!
post comment

[burning away] [23 Dec 2009|01:21am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

At some point I should write about the last few weeks in DC, but I just can't get motivated right now. I will, at least, say thanks to Dave, Nikki, Lisa, Nathan, and Ilker for putting me up a few nights each over the first two weeks of the month - I really appreciate it!

In the meantime, though, I am off of work until January. I'm looking forward to both spending some quality time with Rick as well as catching up on "101 Things to do with RAM" over the next few weeks. But after the last few months, I realize that I've got a lot of thinking to do, too.

When I made my choice to leave back in May, I was hopeful for the future. I had a new job, a new place to live, and fell in love with the best man I've ever known. While a lot has gone right in my life since moving, I'm still dealing with the effects of a bad economy combined with the instability of freelancing after my original job fell through.

I love what I do for a living, but I saw the writing on the wall in November of last year. Since then - even before I had any inclination to leave town - I had been looking for more stable work.

The job hunt has gradually consumed my life ever since.

Rick finally pointed out to me today that my sense of self-worth has gotten far too wrapped up in my career (or lack of one) again. I had this problem back in college, and then it took a breakdown and a short stint in Utah of all places to get me grounded again. While I don't plan of running off to Mormanland USA again anytime soon, I do need to take a step back and get a better perspective on this.

The economy sucks. I'm gonna eat Ramen for awhile longer. Bank of America is gonna double my APR for no reason. My credit score is gonna suck for awhile. I'm gonna be in and work for another year. But it won't last forever.

The real issue, is, though, that I need to remember who I am before my job defines me. I've been wrapped up in theatre and music for so long, that at the end of the day I don't remember anything else. If I had to quit theatre and music, and find a new job and hobby...what would I do?

I seriously have no idea.

I know I'm capable of great things. I'm willing to work hard, willing to chase a dream, willing to try something new. The problem is, NOTHING excites me anymore. Nothing stands out as interesting, nothing seems worth it. I'm trying to go back and think about what I did before I got into the whole entertainment industry, and I vaguely remember things like Girl Scouts and volunteering at the archaeology site at Poplar Forest, taking electives in astrophysics and religious studies...but of all these things, nothing stands out as a future potential career, or even as a distraction to just pass the time.

I guess now is the time for some personal alchemy, and time to burn away everything I've constructed around me and figure out what I'm really supposed to be doing in this life.

post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]